Dear people,
I write this for clarity, and for posterity sake. I feel as if I should say this now, when my head is clear, and not clogged with the nostalgia that seems to happen to me around June time.
I am moving. I am not moving to "run away" from anyone/anything. I am not running from. I am running to. I know not if God has called me west, however, I go forth. I go onward and south. I go to discover the place that I will one day belong.
At 17, I know not the plans I should have, much less the ones The Great I Am has for me.
I go for potentially selfish reasons. I go to save money for myself, to be closer to my family.
And, because I have few things holding me here. What holds me to the great state of Virginia is graduation. Once that happens, in June, there is only one thing.
This wonderful girl that saved me. She is why I will come back.
And, it may seem like I don't care about the rest of the people I'm leaving. That couldn't be further from the truth. My life has changed more than anyone can ever know in the last four years I've lived here. Minor list:
I discovered a love of jazz.
And ALL CAPS.
I learned I'm pretty freaking beast at Sudoku.
I became a Nerdfighter.
I read a lot of books.
I learned people think I can write.
...So I started writing about books.
I went to my first big concert.
I became a Christian.
I watched as the first black president of the United States was inaugurated.
I cried over the things I heard out of the mouths of kids younger than me.
I busted my knee up a lot more.
I learned to throw a Frisbee.
I traveled outside of the country. Twice.
I ate more Chipotle than should be allowed.
I came out.
I was forced out.
I got a puppy.
I learned that someone I love had died each year I was in high school.
I forgot to tell my best friend I was moving.
I went four years with out moving. [Something of a record for me. No, I'm not kidding.]
I know that my life has changed. I know that it will continue to change no matter what it is I do. However, I'd rather initiate change. I'd like to think that, as I wonder west, I shall be grabbing the reign on the horse of my life, and taking it closer to a degree, a career, a home, and a life that I can live and be proud of.
That's all I want out of myself. But, I can not do it alone. Every person I have come in to contact in the last four year has greatly changed my outlook on life. And now, I ask that I may lean on you still. Though I may be a thousand miles away, [And, I'll forgive you for singing the Plain White T's under your breath/in your head.] I ask that I may be able to still call you friend, family, coworker. That I may be able to love you the same way.
And, I leave you in one hundred and fifty six day, [give or take.] but I miss you already.
With love, [and literary references galore.]
Kori.
"For west is where we all plan to go someday. It is where you go when the land gives out and the old field pines encroach. It is where you go when you get the letter saying flea, all is discovered. It is where you go when you look down at the blade in your hand and the blood on it. It is where you go when you are told you are a bubble on the tide of empire." Robert Penn Warren.
"here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart
...
i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)" - e.e. cummings.
ARTIST: CREAM
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